Monday, March 8, 2010

well i'm really hoping and praying tha ben and I can take a month off of going to our church and go somewhere else for awhile. I really wish we could change all together but ben feels that we are not suppose to leave yet and its frustrating and depressing for me because I don't understand what God is doing. I wonder why God wants to keep me at a place where I feel like I'm not wanted and that I don't know anything about what its like to be in the ministry and how difficult it is to be a pastor. I know I don't know everything but I have a pretty good idea because I grew up in a pastor's home and I know and have seen the good and bad times. I have a pretty good handle of it and I see things at a different perspective and I just want the church to grow and do better and I feel like the pastor and his wife don't want to change and make things better because they have tried all kinds of things and to them they haven't worked and so they are so discouraged that just about everytime I have an idea they are very dismissive and have excuses of why they can't or it won't work. its time to wake up and try again its time to get out of the rut they have themselves in and listen to the congregation and deal with the issues that need to be addressed. A good shepherd listens, and deals with things and steps on toes in love so that there can be unity, balance, structure and boundaries to help us grow and connect with each other.

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